First, this is not a discussion on whether or not you agree with BabyWise - just wanted to make that disclaimer.
I've been trying BabyWise with Aiden and I have many reasons for doing so. The first and foremost is that he doesn't like to sleep at night. After 4 weeks of no sleep, I was desperate. I have Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby that I used with Riley and it worked well. But what I now realize is that Riley was a schedule sleeper by nature. I didn't really struggle in that area with him - especially at night. He slept through the night at 6 weeks old and never looked back. I really like the book, because it really shows you why and how babies sleep. I think it's much more beneficial once your baby is a bit older and only taking a few naps a day. It only has like 3 pages in the whole book on newborns, therefore I needed extra help.
I found BabyWise for my Kindle for about $5, so I figured it wouldn't hurt to try it. I really like the idea of knowing when he's gonna eat instead of having totally random days like I did with Riley. He ate regularly, but every day was different. So far we either have regular days or regular nights, but not both. I've had about 3 nights where he has slept good. I don't even care if he sleeps through the night - I just want him to sleep AT night! We got a little off of our schedule this weekend because of church and other things and now it's like he's 2 weeks old again. After his 10pm feeding he wants to have a wake time, which is ok because his wake times are normally only 45min to an hour. But at this time of day night he seems to want to be awake for hours. If we put him in bed he cries. And yes, I do practice a bit of cry it out, but not for too long (please no judgment comments on that). Most of the time I let him cry for a bit to see if he'll go to sleep, then go in and settle him down and try again. (I know most CIO advocates will say I'm not supposed to do that, but I'm kinda middle ground on it) Each time I try to let him stay in there longer for more success. During the day this works really well, but not at night. By this time I KNOW he's over-tired and that's why he won't sleep. Last night he screamed even when we were holding him, so I know it was more than just laying in his bed.
I'm so lost, I don't know what to do! I just want to sleep! I know he needs that sleep too. And then when he's up half the night, he sleeps at least half the day and we get on this horrible cycle. And the one night where he basically slept through the night with just a 3am feeding, he was up for like 4 hours in the morning and the slept the afternoon away so then he didn't sleep that night. I can't win! There are sometimes (like this last feeding) where I can't do ANYTHING to keep him awake after feeding and I have to give in and just put him to bed. Then he wakes up too early and so on and so on.....
I've decided Aiden doesn't like BabyWise, or schedules, and my life is just gonna be miserable for a while so I'll stop fighting it.
Well, that's where we are these days, just making it from one day to the next. Oh and being up all day to tend to my 2.5 year old on top of it all. I will say that my husband is AMAZING and does whatever he can to help - I am so grateful for that! And for his awesome job that give him the flexibility to be available if I need him.
5 comments:
Tiffany, I think you're doing things right, it just takes some time. Don't give up yet! Email me if you have to... I am only a few weeks behind you! Also, have you checked babywisemom.com? She has a GREAT blog with babywise info on it, and also has a google group that you can post questions to and one of the moderators will answer it. They'll even help you with your schedule to see if there is something you're missing! So sorry girl-- I know how much sleep deprivation makes you desperate. He'll get there-- it just takes some time!
Oh man, that's so tough friend. Emersyn was not a scheduled sleeper either but she did sleep through the night well. She never wanted to have awake time at night for which I am grateful. Every kid is so different and you have to do what works for you. Letting them cry it out when they're that little is tough, it's not like Aiden is manipulating you, he's just confused. Poor little guy...praying that you get some better sleep soon.
Wow that is hard! I think most moms think that they go through the rough "figuring it out" time with the first baby, and subsequent babies are easier. Not true! I sure hope it gets better for you soon! The one suggestion I have (coming mostly from my current nanny job, starting with a 2 month old) is to try to wake him up when he does his long naps during the day. If you can break that nap into two shorter naps, or even just shorten it by an hour, it should help him to realize his tiredness later on (when you want him to sleep). Also at 2 months, I tried to keep Ella awake for about 3 hours before her "bedtime" feeding. Sometimes it helped, sometimes it didn't seem to, but it usually can't hurt!
Good luck! I sure hope you get some helpful tips and are able to salvage a little more sleep. Yay for a flexible & helpful Hub! Mine works 9 hour days with an hour commute each way so when he goes back to work after our little one is here I'm gonna be on my own (except for mom & mil at the beginning). I've been praying for a good sleeper since week 4 of my pregnancy!
Hey Tiffany, you poor darling. These weeks are so tough especially when you can't get rest because of the older one!
Praying for you xxx
Survival mode alert! Those days are so hard, and some kiddos are just born resistant to schedules. Keep at it, it will come. You are doing a good job. You know what's best for you and yuor family. And don't feel guilty about letting your little guy cry a bit. Some babes do need to learn how to settle themselves down, and that often involves crying.
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