Refocusing

I know it's been really quiet around here lately. There is nothing really bad or good going on, I just haven't been in a blogging zone. With my husband being gone this week on business, I've been a bit more introspective. This may be a long post, so if you actually read it all, I am greatly blessed by you.

(By the way, I'm writing this post with Elmo In Grouchland playing in the background...kinda hard to focus! So, sorry if I'm a bit scatter-brained.)

I've been doing some new things in my life lately, going in a direction I've never gone before. I wasn't 100% sure it was going to be for me in the beginning, but I decided to give it a shot. I think this week I've decided it's not really for me. I don't mind it, but it's not my passion. I don't thrive on it. And with two small kids at home, I don't have a lot of time for things that don't drive me. If I'm not motivated to pursue it, get better at it and do my best with it - I don't have time for it. I want to put my time and energy into the things that make me want to be a better me.

There are very few things that fall into this category. I have always struggled with finding things that I'm passionate about. My husband seems to have 100 things he loves to do and can pick up to entertain himself at any time. I don't seem to have any - that don't cost money on a regular basis. The one thing I KNOW I'm passionate about is worship - it's in the core being of me, it's who I am. I've gone through many stages in this area of my life. Right now I'm in a strong support role and I'm loving it. But there are times when I wonder if I should be doing something more. I feel that I'm limited with my children being so young. They go to bed fairly early and I don't want to burden my parents with always having to watch them so that I can go and do things. I don't want that for them or my children.

I believe I have come to realize that I like to create with my hands. I've loved scrap booking and card making for a while now, but it seems to be so expensive and time consuming I can't keep up with it. I know I'm gonna sound old right now, but I love to cross-stitch! I made a Christmas stocking for my husband and now I want to start them for Riley and Aiden so we can all have them. (My Mom made me one when I was a teenager and that started the trend) But once I'm done with them, I don't know what to make. I would love to do a full picture or something, but I wouldn't know what to do with it when I'm done. I wouldn't hang it in my house, it's just not the right style. My Mom had a couple of good suggestions that I might take up, but I just don't see it being a permanent hobby. I've thought about knitting. I have a few friends that like to knit and they make hats, scarves, blankets, etc. I think I might like it. There is a local store that has some free classes I might look in to. But again, that all takes money on a consistent basis, so I'm not sure it's doable.

I could go on and on about this, but I'm gonna stop there. Maybe I'll continue my thoughts another day. Thanks for listening friends!